A Year And A Half
by I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me
Summary: A clock ticks, it never stops. Time never ends. Which means things are bound to happen, and it's not lollipops and sun shine all the time. There are storms but after every storm there's a rainbow. But what will it take Clare to realize that
1. Chapter 1

_**Authors note: Yay! New story! This is very AU so don't be surprised when unexpected things happen. DON'T BE EFFING SURPRISED OKAY? Also this is based on of the role play I was in for a while and the plot was so good that I had to continue it because I was like" it can't just end there! So many more beautiful things could have happened." And I mean I know I could have just re auditioned but lay z and school is being a bitch so no more rps for me for a while. But this will be different in many ways because things that have happened to me will be in this story, so it's kinda personal and blah blah blah okay I'm just ranting now um um so..no one reads this part anyway so R&R, enjoy! Oh and Temeva Uno will be updated sometime I'm still writing the chapter**_

_**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, season 13 wouldn't be shit like it is.**_

_**Summary: A clock ticks, it never stops. Time never ends. Which means things are bound to happen, and it's not lollipops and sun shine all the time. There are storms but after every storm there's a rainbow. But what will it take Clare to realize that.**_

* * *

A Year And A Half

* * *

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

-Winston Churchill

* * *

Chapter one

* * *

These girls were done hurting her, this world was done hurting her, her own mind was done hurting her. The second she jumps off of that bridge into the ice cold winter water and below the ice where she wouldn't be able to breathe, everything would be done. All the pain in her life would be done, all the pain in everyone because of her would be done. And she could go on not existing and everyone would be at peace, no one, not one person would miss her. And she most definitely would not miss this god-awful place she called earth.

It was mid-night, everyone was sleeping. Cece, Bullfrog, and Eli who lay beside her but she was wide awake. Clare turned on her side gripping the note she had written earlier today. Her last goodbye note or as other people called it a suicide note. stains from the tears that fell from her face while she was writing it were on that page she held so tightly to her chest. She looked at the alarm clock on the night side beside her.

12: 04

The light snoring from Eli let her know he was in fact asleep, finally. And she took a shaky breath and quietly but quickly getting out of bed. Clare was glad in this moment that the Goldsworthys were all deep sleepers. She placed the note on the pillow that her head was on just moments ago and took a deep breath. This was it. No going back. She didn't want to stay. Or see, or smell, or feel , or hear- not that she could very well anyways. she didn't want to breath. This was her moment and she was taking it.

12: 09

She tip-toed to the door and twisted the door knob to open it. She looked back at the sleeping boy one last time. He would get over her, he had to one day. There will lots of other girls for him to love, and do so many wonderful things for. Treat them like a princess like he had to her all the time. And whomever would fall in love with him she hopes falls in love with his eyes, and his smile, and his sense of humor, and his smug smirk, and the way he would cut her off with a kiss. Clare just hopes he'll find someone so special to him again. Clare is so glad she got to spend the last year of her life loving him and being with him and that he was her first and her last forever and always. If it wasn't for him she probably would have down this a long time ago.

Clare blinked away the tears the threatened to spill out of her eyes at the thoughts that just crossed her mind. She swallowed and left the room before she broke down even more than she already has.

12:14

She finally made it down the stairs, she pulled on her coat her and boots that were hanging and set near the door. She slipped on her hat and wool mittens that Cece had knitted for her earlier that month and left the house she had called home for the last year and a half. She shut the door quietly and turned off the light before she left.

12: 19

Clare walked quickly but careful not to slip on any ice on her way to her location in the dark streets of Toronto. The air was cold as it bit at her cheeks as she walked, the water would probably be much, much, much worse. So she wasn't going to open her mouth and complain since the cold air was nothing compared to what she's been through and what will come within the next few minutes any way.

12: 26

Cars passed by, driving slowly since snow began to fall again. Clare could guess they were probably looking at her like she was crazy being out in the weather like this and the time of night, but she didn't care, they wouldn't be thinking about her in 10 minutes from now. She turned into the park, that was always filled with happy playing children in the summer and kid collecting Easter eggs in the spring, candy in the cold breezy fall. But tonight it was cold dark and not a kid in sight. It's not like little five years olds would be out at this time of night any way even if it were the summer.

12: 34

She slowed her pace as she got closer and the minutes kept getting shorter until moment she no longer would be breathing. The bridge was in front of her now one single light at the end of it. It was a long bridge so it didn't matter much to her. Not like anyone would see her anyway, not out in this awful weather. Clare walked to the very middle of it and leaned over the edge to look down. She blinked away the tears that were freely falling from her blue orbs now, she hadn't noticed the tears were even present. Maybe it was because she was thinking way too much for her own good.

12: 42

3 minutes

3 minutes and she would be in the water.

She striped herself her coat and tossed it aside. Along with the boots and the hat and the mittens, and her cross. The cross did nothing for her anymore. She didn't believe in such a thing that let so many bad things happen to her throughout her life. The cold hurt her skin. It felt like she was being slapped over and over by a person that she called, Mother Nature. She pushed it aside and walked over to the railing and climbed over it.

One leg…

Two legs…

And she turned around so she was facing the water. The railing was cold that it stung to touch it. She took out her phone and watching the time tick away slowly it seemed.

12: 44: 09

12: 44: 10

12: 44:11

12: 44: 12

12: 44: 13

12: 44: 14

12: 44: 15

12: 44: 16

12:44: 17

"Don't fucking do it, Clare!" A voice shouted that she knew oh so very well.

* * *

End of chapter 1

* * *

Whatcha think?

Review!

I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me

XoXo


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note: Yay! New story! This is very AU so don't be surprised when unexpected things happen. DON'T BE EFFING SURPRISED OKAY? Also this is based on of the role play I was in for a while and the plot was so good that I had to continue it because I was like" it can't just end there! So many more beautiful things could have happened." And I'm only updating because I felt bad for how I ended the last chapter even though I have homework from each of my classes I should be doing instead, so be thankful. um so..no one reads this part anyway so R&R, enjoy!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, season 13 wouldn't be shit like it is. And I'm keeping it like this until it's not shit anymore because no time to be creative here.

Summary: A clock ticks, it never stops. Time never ends. Which means things are bound to happen, and it's not lollipops and sun shine all the time. There are storms but after every storm there's a rainbow. But what will it take Clare to realize that.

* * *

A Year And A Half

* * *

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

-Winston Churchill

* * *

Chapter Two

* * *

A year and a half before…

She knew he was gone, but she couldn't help but look over her shoulder even though there was a wall behind her. He has been gone for a while now only because of his stupid actions of getting behind the steering wheel drunk. He hit a young family. The youngest was only a year and that made Clare sick to her stomach. They all passed away the five of them including her father.

Clare didn't care that he was gone though, she hated the man, hated what he did to her after her mother and sister died the same way her father did, getting hit by a drunk driver only difference was that he was the one hitting another car. Clare had lived and her father took it out on her, blamed her almost. Beating her for no clear reason at all, calling her every name under the sun. Until one day he had beat her so badly she landed a spot in the hospital. Lost her hearing in her left ear. But she covered for her father when people started asking questions, he was all she had left and didn't know what would happen if she no longer had him. Of course though that was only the beginning.

Clare sat in the Toronto police station or office, she didn't really know. All she knew was that she was waiting. She has only been waiting an hour or so but it felt like all day. She has been here all day answering questions and talking to the investigator. The investigator broke her and now she is just a shaking mess. There were phones buzzing, chattering among all the people. People were at their desk doing paper work or at the coffee machine refilling their mugs for what Clare could guess was the billionth time that day. She held a cup of water that was a cone shape from the water machine beside her. She's only taken a couple sips of it but other than that she's just watching the water movie around from her shaking.

She sighed and looked away from the cup. Looking around the busy office. She just wished whomever she was going to live with that was coming to get her would hurry up. She was tired of the people who stared at her when they walked by as she sat on one of the blue plastic chairs hugging the wall. Those people weren't actually staring but she felt as if they were.

Tapping on her shoulder caused her to jump, not noticing the person probably because it was from her left side and she couldn't hear from it. She dropped her water when she jumped some of it spilling on her and the rest on the floor in front of her. Before Clare could process what was happening the person kneeled down beside her and tried to help her dry the spot with Kleenex.

"Stop." Clare said pushing the hand away. "It's fine, s-stop, it's just w-water, stop touching me!" She got up quickly standing away from the person. She didn't like people touching her, not after the awful things her father did to her. Touch was one of things she hated the most.

She finally looked over at the person after calming down. It was Cece, Surprise written all over her face. Clare hasn't seen Cece in years. Since before the accident actually. She was twelve then it's been five years. Cece looked at she had last time, maybe just a bit of lighter hair covering her head now. But other than that it was the same rock and roll clothing, same happy smile that she was now wearing on her face but Clare couldn't seem to return it. Not when it only brought back memories of her mother since Cece and Her mother were best friends. And they were always together.

"Clare. Honey…" she started to say softly.

"I'm sorry, uhm its been a long day..." Clare covered

Cece didn't buy it; she just shook her head slightly. "How are you?" she asked

"Fine." Replied Clare looking down at her feet for a second.

The older women opened up to speak but then Clare saw Bullfrog walk around the corner to where they were standing. Along with a boy walking behind him. It was Eli, Cece and Bullfrog might not have changed much but the change was clearly shown on Eli. Black head to toe. Their locked eyes and Clare looked away quickly as he leaned against the wall. There in front of her stood the boy who was her best friend for the longest time until the Goldsworthys moved away shortly after Helen and Darcy passed away. And they all stopped talking then things got bad.

"Clarabelle!" He said going over to her going in for a hug. Clare took a few steps back putting up her hand waving him off. Cece shot him a look and he stepped looked over at Cece giving her a confused look.

"Have you told her yet?" Bullfrog asked.

"Tell me what?" Clare asked.

"Well…Clare, you're going to come live with us." Cece told the girl. "We hope that's okay." She said offering a smile to her.

"I don't have a choice, so why are you asking me?" she snapped.

Cece sighed. "We know this can't be easy on you, but it's safe now, He won't.."

"Can we just go?" Clare cut her off.

She noticed Eli look over from the wall confusion written all over his face. He didn't know. But Cece obviously did, Bullfrog probably did too.

"Okay, Alright…Here, Eli. Go take Clare to the car while we finish signing some papers." Cece told her son throwing him the keys, which he caught.

Eli let out a breath and stood up straight from leaning on the wall. "Fine." He said quietly which Clare barely heard with her hearing messed up. " Come on." He started walking away.

Clare stayed put for a second until Cece said, "well go on, I know he's an ass but he won't hurt you."

"I heard that!" Eli acknowledged his back still turned as we still walked forward away from them. Clare let out a slight laugh and gave Cece a small smile before walking towards the boy after grabbing her bags from the sat that she was just sitting on minutes ago.

The two didn't say much as they waited for the elevator. Eli looked over at Clare as she picked on a loose thread on her sweater.

"Give it to me."

"What?"

"The bags."

"It's fine I got it." She answered him.

"You have three suit cases, let me carry some." He said as the elevator dinged meaning it reached their floor when it opened. Clare let out a sigh passing him the bag on her shoulder. And one of the suit cases. Then they got on the elevator.

"What did you pack, fucking bricks?" he said while adjusting it on his shoulder..

Clare almost laughed. "No, just books." She told him while tucking a curl that fell out-of-place back behind her ear.

Eli looked over to her as they got off the elevator. " So you mean to tell me, you know you're going to live at some other persons house but all you pack is books?" he shook his head chuckling.

"I.. no I packed other things, clothes, tooth-brush…" she started chewing on her lip a habit she's grown use to in the last couple years

"I get it, the things you need."

"I just like to read…." She made clear to him.

"I know, I remember." He acknowledged as they finally made it to the parking lot.

"Oh."

They didn't talk for the rest of the way to the car. The same old black Mazda that she remembers. The one they've always have had except now there were a few dents on the rear of it that she traced as Eli popped the trunk of it and started to place her things inside of it.

"These weren't here before." She stated looking at the dents.

Eli chuckled. "Yeah, I'm to blame for those…Let just say I wasn't the best driver when I started driving." He explained.

"How much did your parents kill you for that?" she asked finally looking up and over at the boy.

He made a face and shrugged. "Not too much." He answered her. "Only a little." He closed the trunk with a slam that made Clare flinch a little when no one else would have. Eli didn't seem to notice.

"Do you? You know drive."

"No," she shook her head. "I never learnt."

"I can teach you." He offered. Leaning against the car door.

"You do that?"

"Sure, anything for an old friend."

* * *

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

July 18th

18 months

547 days

78 weeks

13147 hours

788923 minutes

47335350 seconds

* * *

End of chapter Two

* * *

Whatcha think?

Review!

I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me

XoXo


	3. Chapter 3

Authors note: Yay! New story! This is very AU so don't be surprised when unexpected things happen. DON'T BE EFFING SURPRISED OKAY? Also this is based on of the role play I was in for a while and the plot was so good that I had to continue it because I was like" it can't just end there! So many more beautiful things could have happened." I've only watched sad movies today and that got my creative mind going, lol creative mind. No, the movies just brought back memories so because of that you get yourself a new chapter, yay! um so..no one reads this part anyway so R&R, enjoy! EFFING TRIGGER WARING FOR BELOW, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. Also it's kinda a filler chapter idk.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, season 13 wouldn't be shit like it is. And I'm keeping it like this until it's not shit anymore because no time to be creative here.

Summary: A clock ticks, it never stops. Time never ends. Which means things are bound to happen, and it's not lollipops and sun shine all the time. There are storms but after every storm there's a rainbow. But what will it take Clare to realize that.

* * *

A Year And A Half

* * *

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

-Winston Churchill

* * *

Chapter Three

* * *

A week later…

Clare sighed as she looked at the mess of her clothing laying all over the new bed in her new room. It's been a week since she has stepped foot into the Goldsworthys house but she has only attempted to unpack her things now. Only because Cece insisted she try to unpack to make things more homier for her. She hasn't done other than sit on her bed - which was everything new, which she was glad, the old one back at her old house was dirty to her. The whole house actually she hated. But she was gone from it now, gone from the city she grew up knowing but ended up hating by the time she left it.

And now she was in Toronto. A city she knew nothing about. She felt clueless about it all. She didn't know where anything was, but then again it's not like she even bothered to leave her room to learn anything about the city. Clare honestly didn't even know the layout of the house she is living in. She knew where the front door was, the kitchen and the bathroom. Which her and Eli had to share.

Clare went to grab some hangers from the small closet, only to hear a light tapping on her door. She went over and twisted the door knob only enough so there was a small crack to see the person.

"Can I come in?" Eli asked looking at her through the little opening.

"I'm cleaning." She said quickly.

"I'll help." He said giving her a crooked smile.

"Uhm…" She looked back at the mess of her room. She could use the help but sure if she wanted to be around him, or anyone now. She was yet again a mess, he was gone, and he hasn't touched her in weeks. But the memories haunt her every night. And now she felt insanely dirty even after Clare took her razor and cut her biceps, once, twice, maybe three times. Where she had multiple times before. It was her relief, her release. It made her feel better after she had a shit day. After she spent at least an hour in the shower scrubbing her skin till it was red, trying to get all the dirty off of her skin. Out of her mind but it wasn't the easy. She looked back to him, Eli raised his eye brows in question at her.

"Okay."

"Okay." He said back to her after a second when he entered her room once she stepped aside opening her door for him.

"Woah, this is worse than my room." He chuckled looking around.

"Sorry." She quietly looked down at her hands. Only to see Eli giving her a confused look when she looked back up at him.

"Why are you saying sorry?" He asked.

She shook her head and went back to putting her clothes in the closet, not saying much of anything, as she went back to the and forth to the bed to the closet fixing clothes on a hanger then hanging it up in the rod. At a point though she noticed Eli putting her books away in the bookcase Cece had brought in the room a few days ago.

"You have quite the collection here." Eli pointed out holding up a book. "Fight Club, Good choice."

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." She quoted from the book. Eli smirked at her, but she looked away.

"It's one of my favourites." She sat on the edge of her bed and started to fold the remaining clothes.

"What others do you like?" Eli asked after a moment.

"Umm… I like The Fault In Our Stars by John Green."

Eli shook his head, his hair moving out-of-place. When he moved the bangs got of out of his eyes, Clare remembered then just how much she missed his eyes. She almost laughed out loud when she realized how stupid it was to of all things miss his eyes the most.

"How can you go from Fight club to The Fault In Our Stars?" He let out a laugh not noticing her staring at him just moments before.

"It's a good book." She paused. "You should read it." She suggested getting up from her spot and grabbing the book from the bookcase and held it out to him.

"And if my friends find this in my room?" he asked with a raise of his eyebrows

"Hide it." She said simply with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Okay, I'll read it… Only if you come with me tonight." He said taking the book in his hands

"Huh?"

"Above The Dot. Tonight. I'm meeting some of my friends there and I don't like seeing her cooped up in this room."

"Uh…." She bit her lip. "I don't think so." She said quietly turning around back to her bed to finish her folding of her clothes. Eli touched her arm to make him face him.

"Cla-"

"Don't touch me." She said loudly pushing him away from her.

Once again confusion was written on his face. Did he not know? She wondered. Cece hadn't opened her mouth and told him?

"I'm sorry." He took a step away from her.

She shook her head, feeling horrible from the way his voice sounded. "I..I just don't like people…touching me, it's fine." She made clear to him.

"Okay, well, we don't have to go there, I could tell Adam to come here. He could bring his girlfriend? You might like her… I mean I don't like her…."

"I guess so…." She sat on the bed "Why?" She asked picking at the nail polish on her nails

"Uh...she is way too preppy" He shrugged licking his lips.

"Oh…" she started. "So you don't actually have a reason then."

"Nah, I guess not." He said. "Can it sit?" he added.

"I'm not stopping you."

Eli looked at her and shook his head then took a seat on her bed placing the book beside him. Then He was quiet, and stared off to one spot something he did when he was thinking deeply. That's one thing about him that didn't change.

"What changed Clare?" He asked her finally looking over at her. "You use to be so…so happy." He paused. "So talkative to the point where you wouldn't shut up until I cut you off with something else or kissed you. You were always smiling… What happened, Clare.."

Clare was taken back by this and only looked right back at him. He didn't know a thing and she knew that for a fact now.

"Time… Time changes people, Elijah Goldsworthy. And sometimes it's not always for the better."

* * *

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

July 24th

18 months

540 days

77 weeks

12979 hours

778843 minutes

46730550 seconds

* * *

End of chapter Three

* * *

Whatcha think?

Review!

I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me

XoXo


	4. Chapter 4

Authors note: Yay! New story! This is very AU so don't be surprised when unexpected things happen. DON'T BE EFFING SURPRISED OKAY? Also this is based on of the role play I was in for a while and the plot was so good that I had to continue it because I was like" it can't just end there! So many more beautiful things could have happened." I'm home sick from school so you get yourself a new chapter, yay! Um So. one reads this part anyway so R&R, enjoy!. No beta so of course there will be mistakes I missed.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, season 13 wouldn't be shit like it is. And I'm keeping it like this until it's not shit anymore because no time to be creative here.

Summary: A clock ticks, it never stops. Time never ends. Which means things are bound to happen, and it's not lollipops and sun shine all the time. There are storms but after every storm there's a rainbow. But what will it take Clare to realize that.

* * *

A Year And A Half

* * *

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

-Winston Churchill

* * *

Chapter Four

* * *

"Clare!" Eli shouted from somewhere within the house. She guessed it came from down stairs.

Clare let a small sigh fall from her lips and got up from her desk and closed the laptop screen before heading out of the room and down the stairs. She has made herself leave her room more often so none of them would bother her about it. Eli talked to her more now too, she just wasn't sure yet if she was happy about that or not.

"Yes?" she questioned finally finding him in the kitchen leaning against the island in the middle of the room going through the phone book in his hands.

"I say, since Cece and Bullfrog are out till late tonight, we throw a party." He said without looking up but Clare could see a smirk growing on his face.

"You're kidding?" She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yea, I was thinking pizza? " He told her looking up from the book. "You still like ham, bacon and green olives right?

Clare muttered quickly yes while a small smile grows on her face. He remembered that too. She took a few steps forwards so she could lean against the island also.

"What about you? Hot peppers, sausage and pepperoni still?"

"Uh huh." He nodded. "What'd you say?"

"Okay."

"Okay."

Clare gave him a nod before turning on her heels and walking out of the kitchen and to the living room. She took a spot on the couch and started flipping through the channels. After a while Eli came in and flopped down on the couch beside her.

"Find anything worth watching?" He asked looking up from his phone, texting somebody she guessed.

"No, not really…" she answered the dark-haired boy still flipping through the channels. Then stopped once she came across some crime show that was on and set the remote controller in the spot between them.

"Can I take you somewhere tonight?" he started. "I know now that big crowds of people isn't your thing so I promise I won't take you anywhere like that." He finished "But my friends are dying to meet you, by the way." Eli added running a hand through out his dark locks.

"Where?" she questioned tapping her fingers on the couch.

"You'll have to come with me to find out." Eli told her with a rise of his eyebrows

"If I say yes…" She paused. "Will you stop bothering me to go places with you?"

"Uh huh." He agreed moving his bangs out of his eyes.

She bit her bottom lip and looked back at the television show, not bothering to answer him right away.

"You're killing me here, Diana!" exclaimed Eli throwing his head back on the couch leaning it to one side so he was looking right at her.

Clare gasped. "Don't call me that!" She said playfully hitting him on his chest. "Ever! Or I'll use your middle name."

"You wouldn't dare! I bet you don't even remember it, Diana."

"Stop it, James."

Eli gasped, placing a hand over his heart pretending to be hurt. "You'll get over it." Giggled Clare. Eli laughed also.

The two sat and talked, it wasn't anything too important, it wasn't really anything at all, they were enjoying just being in around each other again after so many years passed. And Clare was actually happy around him, he made her happy. Cece and Bullfrog made her happy. She wasn't faking the feeling like she has so many times before. But she wouldn't dare say it out loud to any of them. After a while the doorbell rang and Eli got up to get the pizza. He soon came back as the show on television ended and set the pizza on the coffee table.

"Pizza!" He said after opening the pizza boxes.

"Thank you, captain obvious!" Clare said with a roll of her eyes.

They both grabbed a slice and began eating. She finally looked over to him and said, "Okay, I'll go…wherever it is you're going to take me."

He smiled crookedly at her. "Good."

* * *

Eli had been driving and Clare swears they've been in this car for more than an hour. They were long gone out of the city, and now she was getting curious more than what she was before they left the house. She'd ask where they were going but she didn't want to be one of those annoying people who ask a million a two times before they got where they were going. Instead she just looked out the window taking in what she saw out of it.

"You're quiet." Eli stated as he turned on to a dirt road. Trees cover them from both sides of the road. "What are you thinking?" He asked, this made her look over at him for a second.

Clare just shrugged. "Nothing really." She told him. "And it's kinda nice for a change." She picked at them hem of her jeans. The car slowed and then stopped when Eli put it in park in the middle of the small dirt road. Clare shot him a confused look. "Is this the part where you leave me here and I have to find my own way back?"

Eli shook his head no with a slight chuckle. "No, now get out." He undid his seatbelt and got out waiting for Clare. She looked at him through the window and shook her head but got out anyway.

"Do you uh, stop in the middle of the road often?" She asked shutting the door behind her.

"Oh, yeah. All the time." Eli rolled his eyes. "No, I only do it when I teach people how to drive." He answered her with a smirk.

"Really?" Clare smiled.

He nodded. "Yes, really, I said I would and I always follow through with what I say I'm going to do." He opened the driver's side door for her. She looked between the car and him a couple of times "What?" he questioned.

"You better have some good insurance." She commented and then got in.

Eli laughed. "Don't worry, it's covered." He shut the door and went to get in on the other side. Clare did her seatbelt up and waited for Eli to tell her what to do.

"Okay, check your mirrors." He told her. She checks the mirrors and fixed them so she could see out of them.

"Put it in gear." She did.

"Now gently hit the gas." She did.

* * *

"Clare! You did fine!" He said trying to get her to stop from going on about how bad she was at driving.

"I almost ran over a bunny! How is that fine?"

"Key word: Almost." He said "You stopped and it hopped away."

"Yeah, okay... but what if next time it's a person?"

"I'll keep taking you out here to practice, okay? Then when you're ready, Cece will take you to get your beginners."

"Alright, fine." She chewed on her bottom lip and looked out front window.

"I…" He stopped whatever he was going to say.

"What is it?" she asked.

Eli shook his head and didn't say anything. Clare just looked at him for a few seconds before looking away, she didn't want to make him feel weird with her staring. Quiet filled the car for a while afterwards. Clare closed her eyes for a second only to realize where they were driving past the second she reopened them. The graveyard her mother and sister are buried in. Just the thought of them made Clare want to break down right then and there. Clare looked down at her lap, wanting to escape the sight. She grabbed Eli's free hand and held it in her lap, trying to push the feeling away or else she was going o cry in front of him and that was the last thing she wanted now. Eli obviously couldn't remember where they drove by meant to her

"Clare?" Eli questioned after a moment.

"Sorry…Sorry." She pulled her hand away. "I'm sorry, I just…. Sorry."

"It's fine…" Eli sneaked a look at her then quickly put his eyes back to the road. "I wasn't going to tell you to let go. "

Clare looked up and smiled at him and Eli smiled back and for the first time in such a long time she felt that butterfly nervousness feeling building in the pit of her stomach. Then she held his hand and intertwined their fingers and looked back out the window.

* * *

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

August 2nd

17 months

531 days

76 weeks

12 763 hours

765 883 minutes

45 952 950 seconds

* * *

End of chapter Four

* * *

Whatcha think?

Review!

4 reviews = New Chapter( btw I have a lot of crazy things going on now and this just gives me time in between chapters if i need a break)

I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me

XoXo


	5. Chapter 5

Authors note: Yay! New story! This is very AU so don't be surprised when unexpected things happen. DON'T BE EFFING SURPRISED OKAY? Also this is based on of the role play I was in for a while and the plot was so good that I had to continue it because I was like" it can't just end there! So many more beautiful things could have happened." I was inspired so you get yourself a new chapter, yay! Um So. one reads this part anyway so R&R, enjoy!. No beta so of course there will be mistakes I missed.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, season 13 wouldn't be shit like it is. And I'm keeping it like this until it's not shit anymore because no time to be creative here.

Summary: A clock ticks, it never stops. Time never ends. Which means things are bound to happen, and it's not lollipops and sun shine all the time. There are storms but after every storm there's a rainbow. But what will it take Clare to realize that.

* * *

A Year And A Half

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

-Winston Churchill

* * *

Chapter Five

* * *

Clare was dead tired so the banging coming from wherever she was not happy about. It was her own fault though for staying up with Eli and watching his favourite scary movies, more like he watched and she hid her eyes leaning against his chest the whole time. And he held her and for the first time she didn't mind touch, his touch. Everyday she craved more and more of it. Every day that passed he seemed to have a new reason for her to smile, to laugh, to come out of the room she calls her own now. And she wasn't scared.

Clare groaned and pulled the blanket over her face trying to block out the noise and the sun that shined through her window. But with no such luck of it working for her she sat up in bed and ran a hand through her messy hair and yawned. The banging continued and this made Clare curious. Getting out of bed she stretched an got a peak at what time it was. It was almost one in the afternoon and she knew it was about time she got up anyway.

Her curtains blew with the wind and she noticed Eli and Bullfrog out in the backyard. She scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion then made her way over to the window to get a better look out of it to see what they were doing. Bullfrog was hammering something into the tree. And the two were talking she couldn't hear what about. A laugh escaped the girl with shoulder length messy hair when bullfrog hit his thumb with the hammer. She heard him cursing, Clare wouldn't be surprised if the whole neighborhood heard him and she'd be even more surprised if the whole neighborhood didn't hear Eli laughing at his dad.

The backyard looked decorated. Hawaiian theme from the looks of things. Tiki torches lined the entrance to the backyard. Tables set up with coloured tablecloths a bowl in the middle with rocks in them. Fake blow up palm trees. It was all beautiful in her mind. But she was never told about anything going on.

She moved away from the window and bit her lip deciding she was going to go down and figure out what was going on in the backyard. She went to the closet and pulled out a nice white summer dress and threw it on her bed before picking out a pair of light blue flats to go with it. She took a quick shower and dried her hair and threw on a bit of mascara and a small amount of eyeliner. She put on the dress and flats then left the room and down the stairs to only pass the kitchen and then take a few steps back to see Cece working like a mad women in that room.

" Good Mor…afternoon." Clare corrected herself giving Cece a smile. "What's going on?"

Cece looked up from the bowl of fruit salad she was mixing up and let out a sigh of relief. " Good! You're up. I thought you died or something." Cece laughed. "It's our last day of summer party! Didn't Eli tell you?"

"Nope, very much alive." Clare let out a short laugh. "I was sleeping." She shook her head. "And no he didn't tell me that."

"Well I'll have to beat him up later for not telling you… Can you cut that up for me?" She asked pushing the banana on the cutting board. "I heard you and Eli up late last night."

Clare took a knife from the counter and started cutting it up for her. "Sorry. Did we keep you up?" she asks throwing some banana pieces into the bowl.

"No! no." Cece chuckles "I just stay up and read before sleeping some nights." She whips her hands on her apron and moves to the stove and stirs whatever is inside of it. "I'm just glad to see that you and Eli and hanging out again."

"Yeah…" Clare smiles to herself. "Yeah, me too."

"I'm also glad you're not always cooped up in that room anymore…I know what you went through couldn't have been easy..."

Clare stopped what she was doing for a second but then went back to cutting up the fruit without saying anything.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's uh… it's okay," she paused for a moment. "I just need to learn how to deal with it without getting upset." Clare licked her lips and tucked her bangs behind her ear. "What…what did the investigator even tell you?"

"About why you were in intensive care that couple years ago." She took the large wooden spoon out of the pot and set it on a cloth on the counter that was beside the stove. "That it was your father… Not you falling down a flight of stairs and out a window at a friends house."

"I might have gotten that excuse from twilight…"

"Why did you make that up for your father, Clare?"

Clare set down the knife and thought about walking away but she owed Cece an answer. Cece must have been so confused and felt so sorry for her, and Clare doesn't want any of that. But it's the hardest thing for Clare to talk about so she tries not to talk about it. When she doesn't talk about it, she ends up thinking about everything till two in the morning some night, or she dreams about all the terrible things that had went down multiple time in that house.

"Because everyone…left me." She started. "My mom, Darcy, you three. All the friends I thought I had started treating me differently and eventually left too. I couldn't lose another person. He was the only person I had left. No matter how much he b-beat me... and touched me where I didn't want to be t-touch by him, I wasn't going to make the last person I had left be put behind bars because I opened my mouth…It was my fault anyway,"

Tears streamed down her face and she wasn't trying to stop them from falling. Clare couldn't look Cece in the eyes. She didn't want to see the look in them and on her face. "If I hadn't have wanted to go to that stupid Hannah Montana concert so badly, they'd still be here. I would still be able to hear out of my ear. I deserved everything he did and everything he had ever called me.."

'Clare, honey, no. You didn't deserve anything. You didn't deserve it. The car that hit you three that night was a drunk driver. It wasn't you that did anything wrong."

"Then why am I alive and they're all dead!?" Clare cried loudly wiping her eyes.

"Clare.."

"No! It's my damn fault! It's my fault" Shouted Clare before turning around almost bumping into someone. That someone being Eli she realized when she had looked up. Clare didn't even hear the back door open. She didn't want him to know and the look on his face had made it very clear that he heard every word that just left her mouth. Shock was written all over his face, maybe some confusion, sadness. It was everything thing that shouldn't be showing on his face. Everything that shouldn't be showing on his face because of her. Eli opened his mouth to say something but Clare shook her head and ran up to her room and locked the door before one of them could come bother her when all she wanted now was to be alone in her quiet little room for the time being.

She lays on her bed for a while after the tears finally stopped coming. Only after it seemed that she cried every last tear out of her body though. And she stares up at the ceiling fan as it kept going around cooling the room down from the horrible Toronto heat wave they were having. She didn't want to leave her room but she knew because of the party she was going to have to go out. She just didn't want to see the sadness on their faces again.

She looked over to the door and noticed a piece of paper laying there that wasn't there before. Carefully she got up grabbed it and sat back on her bed before she heard music coming from outside. She then unfolded it. It was written in Eli handwriting.

_I know it is hard to believe at this very moment, but please know that it wasn't your fault. You did not and do not deserve what he had done to you. You deserve the very best, not that whatsoever. He took away your hearing, that wasn't something you deserved. I know now and it's probably not the way you wanted me to find out, if you ever did want me to. But I know now, I want to listen if you want to if it's three am. Talking about it, or even just writing everything out in a journal will help you in the long run, Clare. Talking to someone about what happened will help you. It won't be easy and it will take a lot time, but eventually it will fade away with help. And I want to help you. _

_- Eli_

* * *

End of chapter five

* * *

Whatcha think?

Review!

_**Please review and tell me if you want ending one or two.**_

_**The last words for ending one are "I know"**_

_**The last words for ending two are "I'll see you when it's your turn, Eli Goldsworthy." **_

_**Choose wisely, Readers!**_

I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me

XoXo


	6. Chapter 6

Authors note: Yay! New story! This is very AU so don't be surprised when unexpected things happen. DON'T BE EFFING SURPRISED OKAY? Also this is based on of the role play I was in for a while and the plot was so good that I had to continue it because I was like" it can't just end there! So many more beautiful things could have happened." You get yourself a new chapter, yay! Um So. one reads this part anyway so R&R, enjoy!. No beta so of course there will be mistakes I missed.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, season 13 wouldn't be shit like it is. And I'm keeping it like this until it's not shit anymore because no time to be creative here.

Summary: A clock ticks, it never stops. Time never ends. Which means things are bound to happen, and it's not lollipops and sun shine all the time. There are storms but after every storm there's a rainbow. But what will it take Clare to realize that.

* * *

A Year And A Half

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

-Winston Churchill

* * *

Chapter six

* * *

Clare left her room, down the stairs and peaked out the back door. People of all ages were out there and she was surprised. Did the Goldsworthys really know all these people? Before they moved, Clare swore this family knew two other people. Did they move to Toronto and become known over night? Clare didn't know nor did she want to ask to find out, because asking to find out meant talking to one of the three. And after her little break down Clare did not want to talk to them incase they asked questions and she's already said too much for their ears.

She moved away from the door and considered going back up to her room but Clare knew they'd drag her down and out eventually to meet people she didn't want or care for meeting. Meeting and talking to new people were not Clare's favourite cup of tea.

Clare walked into the small half bathroom near where she was and locked herself in it. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. She looked like a mess and if she had of just walked out there everyone would have known she had cried only moments ago. Clare turned on the tap and splashed water on her face, took a cloth and cleaned all the smeared makeup off. It's not like she was trying to impress anyone anyway. She flattened out her dress and fixed her hair before hearing a light knocking on the door.

'Oh.." Clare said quietly to herself then opened the door. "Sorry. I hope you weren't waiting too long." Clare said to the person.

"It's fine!" The tall blonde girl smiled.

Clare gave a small smile back to the girl then walked out of the strangers' way. And out the door to the back where the loud music and lots of people were. She stood on the deck and looked around trying to find Eli or Cece maybe Bullfrog. Not to talk but just to stand around with. Soon enough she saw Eli standing around with a couple other guys and a few girls, he looked busy so she wasn't going to go over and intrude. Instead she walked past them all and to the table full of food and went to grab a cup, but someone held one out for her.

"Thanks…" she said taking it and looking at the person. He had shaggy brown hair and blue eyes and was scrawny from the looks of things. He wore a beanie and a plaid shirt and jeans.

"Don't mention it." He grinned at her then took a sip of his own drink as Clare filled up her cup.

"Adam!" Clare looked over her shoulder and sighed before looking back to the cup she was filling up. Eli came over and Eli did some handshake with Adam, the boy she had just met. Then it hit her this was Adam, Eli's best friend. The person Eli always seemed to talk about some way some how, Clare swears the two are secretly lovers or something with the way Eli talks about that boy.

"Hey, man. You met Clare." Eli commented looking over at her. Clare popped a chip in her mouth and looked back and forth between the two before being able to talk because of chewing the chip.

"This is Clare?" Adam questioned.

"Unless That's suddenly not my name…I'm Clare." She confirmed.

"He can't shut up about you, by the way." Adam told the girl. Eli punched Adam's shoulder.

"All good things I hope…" Clare raised an eyebrow at Eli, who just looked away quickly.

"Oh, yeah. Don't worry, it's just like Clare is beautiful and god her laugh.."

"Adam! Stop talking or I'll cut of your fingers" Eli warned.

"God, mean." Adam laughed.

A slight giggle left her lips before a girl skipped on over. No, the girl from earlier when Clare left the bathroom. The blonde girl went over to Adam and he kissed her forehead.

"Becks, this is Clare."

"Hey! I met you earlier, now I know your name." She said, "I'm Becky!"

"Hi." Clare greeted back to the girl before the song changed.

"This is my favorite song! Adam lets dance, please!" Becky said making a puppy dog face.

"How can I say no to that face?"

"Like this, no." Eli interrupted.

"Don't worry, Elijah, He'll see you tomorrow at school." Then Becky and Adam walked away to where the other people were dance in the yard.

Clare shook her head. "I can see why you aren't fond of her." Clare then took a sip of her drink. "Way too happy."

"Now, you see why." Eli chuckled. "The stories I told you didn't sell you on why I don't like her much?"

"I think you're just upset because Adam is spending time with his girlfriend and not you." She teased.

"Nah, it's fine."

"Sure it is, I see the hurt in your eyes." Clare laughed.

"You looking in my eyes, Edwards?"

A blush grew on her face, in an attempt to try to hide her face she lip her lip and looked at her face as she kicked at the ground. "No…"

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say."

"Stop it." Clare demanded pushing his shoulder.

A guy came up and put a hand on Eli's shoulder and said hey before walking away with whomever he was with. Did Eli know these people? all of them? Or did he only know some and the word just kind of spread on the street and people just crashed? Or was he Mr. Popular at school? The player ? Or just the loner in the corner? Clare didn't know the answer to any of those questions that she had but Clare wasn't just about to ask. What if he took her questions the wrong way. Eli had only ever mentioned Jake and Adam who she just met and Mo. One of three she knew.

"Hey.." the sound of his voice pulled her out of her thoughts. Eli put a hand on her back, dragging it along her side and left it there for a few seconds. It made shivers run up her spine.

"What.." she said hoping he didn't notice her shiver from seconds before.

"The hammock is free…Lay with me?" Asks Eli

"Yeah, yeah sure.." Clare set her drink down on the table and took the hand Eli held out and followed him to the hammock. Getting into the hammock involved some laughing since Eli almost fell out getting in. Eli put his arm around her once they were both settled in the hammock and she leaned her head on his chest and soon Clare grew tired.

"You probably should have brought your drink with you.." Eli said lightly

"Why?" She questions closing her eyes.

"You never know someone might put something in your drink."

"Thanks for the warning." Clare said quietly.

"hmm"

"Do you know all these people?" Clare asks suddenly.

Eli grunted "Nah, People crash."

"Here I was thinking you were mister popular." Clare teased.

"I wouldn't call myself popular… just well-known..." He confessed.

"Oh, I see…so they know you but you don't know all of them.."

"I guess…"

"Mister _well-known_." Clare sighed cuddling up to Eli. Although there was lots of dancing people, some acting stupid along with loud music and it finally being dark and the stars are out. But Clare was calm in his arms, the beat of his heart calmed her but she noticed it was beating really fast, was he nervous?

"Your heart is beating really fast." She commented.

Eli chuckled and leaned his head on hers that leaned against his chest. "Yeah, yeah it is."

Clare finally opened her eyes and looked up at the night sky then let out a breath. "Look there's a shooting star." Pointed out Clare with her index finger.

"What do you wish for?"

"If I say it out loud it won't come true." Clare answered. "What's yours?"

"I just wish the girl I like liked me back…"

"Why don't you tell her, I'm sure she'll like you back."

"I'm trying to... now."

"What?" Clare asked sitting up way too quickly and before they both knew it they were on the ground. Eli had fallen on top of her when she tried to move he held her hands above her head.

"I like you." He told her looking into her eyes. She tried to look everywhere but his eyes but once their eyes locked she couldn't look away.

"Don't be stupid."

"I'm not being stupid, I'm being honest."

"Why?" she paused. "Why me?

"Because you, just everything about you." He started "Just being around you makes my day better. You make me happy. Hearing your laugh makes me want to laugh. Whenever I'm around you my heart beats ten times faster, and my palms get sweaty. And anytime I'm around you all I can think about is getting you to kiss me. Clare, I like you. That's what I'm trying to say" he finally finished

Clare didn't know what to say or how to react. She just looked up at him as he hovered above her and it's not like she could go anywhere since he wouldn't let her move. But she knew that when she's around him she's happy. And she gets butterflies in her stomach and her palms get sweaty…Did that mean she liked him too?

"I… Uhm…" She stopped.

Eli shook his head when Clare didn't continue what she was saying and started to get up and then helped Clare up. "You don't have to say anything, it wasn't fair of me to just throw it on you like I did…just uh… yeah." He went on and then started to walk away.

"No! Wait." Clare called out to him walking towards him. Eli turned around and before he knew it, she crashed her lips to his. He was shocked at first and Clare was even shocked of her actions but neither were pulling away. Eli moved his hands to her sides and Clare tangled her fingers in his hair and they stayed like that kissing each other until they both needed air to breath and not die.

"I like you too, Eli." She said leaning her forehead against his "I don't even know how to start describing in all the ways that I do. But I know that I like you and you make me happy… I've never felt this way before with anyone so I don't even know where we would start but…"

"Slowly… that's how we start, what about that?"

"I like that." She grinned. Eli smirked before leaning down and capturing her lips in a kiss again, the time much slower, but full of passion and Clare liked it.

"Ow! Ow!" Adam shouted somewhere near them but neither pulled away. Eli moved one hand from Clare's side and gave the boy Eli calls his best friend the middle finger and went back to holding Clare all without breaking the kiss.

"Wow, I see how it is!" Adam shouted again.

* * *

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

September 2nd

16 months

499 days

* * *

End of chapter five

* * *

Whatcha think?

Review!

_**Please review and tell me if you want ending one or two.**_

_**The last words for ending one are "I know"**_

_**The last words for ending two are "I'll see you when it's your turn, Eli Goldsworthy."**_

_**Choose wisely, Readers!**_

I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me

XoXo


	7. Chapter 7

Authors note: Yay! New story! This is very AU so don't be surprised when unexpected things happen. DON'T BE EFFING SURPRISED OKAY? Also this is based on of the role play I was in for a while and the plot was so good that I had to continue it because I was like" it can't just end there! So many more beautiful things could have happened." I finally finished the chapter…16 days after I started so you get yourself a new chapter, yay! Um So. one reads this part anyway so R&R, enjoy!. No beta so of course there will be mistakes I missed.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, season 13 wouldn't be shit like it is. And I'm keeping it like this until it's not shit anymore because no time to be creative here.

Summary: A clock ticks, it never stops. Time never ends. Which means things are bound to happen, and it's not lollipops and sun shine all the time. There are storms but after every storm there's a rainbow. But what will it take Clare to realize that.

* * *

A Year And A Half

* * *

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

-Winston Churchill

* * *

Chapter seven

* * *

Clare woke up with a smile on her face. A smile that has not left her face since last night when Eli and Clare shared their first kiss together or at least the one she counted as their first kiss. That one time they kissed when they were like ten she never really counted as anything in her mind. They were taking things slow. And she liked the sound of that last night and still does this morning but never having a boyfriend before or even a boy liking her period. Clare didn't really know what that meant for them but they were together nothing the less so she wasn't going to sitting around complaining about taking things slow at all.

Her alarm went off moments later. She was always one to get up at least 20 minutes before it went off it must be something in her brain sensing it would go off soon that would always wake her up when ever she sets an alarm no matter what. She stretched in bed before getting up and turning the noisemaker off. The house was quiet, Clare knew Bullfrog and Cece were gone to work by now with their jobs. Bullfrog a Radio jockey and Cece a nurse both had to leave early in the morning most days if not everyday. That probably meant Eli wasn't awake yet. He was her ride to school since the girl only had her beginners and couldn't get anywhere without him.

Clare left her room quietly and made her way over to Eli's which was across the hallway. Clare put her ear to the door and heard a light snoring coming from the other side. Before she moved her head away because of the fear that there might be a person with an axe on the other side, ready to ram the thing into her brain, she blamed Eli for this fear, scary movies are not her thing whatsoever that's for sure. She thinks about just letting him stay sleeping because of the time it was but considering how long that boy takes to get ready she decided different. She turned the doorknob then entered the room quietly. He's a heavy sleepier so the slight noise she just made didn't disturb his sleep any. Clare looked at him for a couple of seconds, he was adorable when he slept. She walked over finally and quickly lay down on his bed beside him, covering herself in his warm black blankets. Still very much asleep he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Clare smiled to herself and turned in his arms so she was facing him on her side.

"Eli…" Clare whispered placing a hand on his face and using her thumb to gently touch the apple of his cheek.

When she didn't get a reaction from him she said his name again only louder this time. "Eli..." Eli groaned but still didn't open his eyes, he only held her tighter.

"Eli. Get up" she giggled moving her hand. Eli made a noise but still his eyes remained closed, she knew he was awake now since the smirk growing on his face was giving him away. Then she got an idea that would for sure wake the sleepy boy up. She leaned closer to him their chests pressing against each other's and kissed his lips until he responded to the kiss then she pulled away.

"You wanna get up now?" she questioned. He slowly opened his eyes, and smiled.

"Not really." He said 'But since you're not letting me sleep, I guess I'm going to have to." He ran a hand through his messy bed head of hair.

"Don't pretend you didn't like being woken up that way." Clare teased.

"I'm not pretending. I enjoyed it very much." He said with a wiggle of his eyebrows then pecked her on the lips.

"Come on, Let's go." Clare said starting to get out of his bed.

"Clare..." Eli wined leaning up on his elbow looking at her as she stood and faced him as she stood by his door way holding the doorknob.

"What? It's the first day of school and I don't wanna be late."

Eli chuckled and glanced at his side table clock "Clare, it's 6:37 and school doesn't start until 8:50"

"What about finding my classes?" she said letting go of the doorknob to cross her arms over her chest.

"I'll help you find them, and plus we have first together, you'll be there on time. I promise."

"Okay, fine. But I'm going to shower… have fun sleeping." She said walking out of the room

"Can I join you?" He shouted after her.

"Not a chance, Goldsworthy!" She laughed out loud.

Later...

Clare sighed as they finally got to school. Clare has enjoyed school as long as her brain lets her remember. She loves it actually. She likes the work it gives her, how it pushes her to do her best. She likes to learn new things in the classroom as the teacher teaches them everything in their brain. But this was a new school. That meant new faces, new teachers, and new places to know about. She knew Eli and that was basically it. She met Adam and his annoying girlfriend Becky, but she didn't know them like she knew Eli. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't nervous.

"It's going to bleed if you keep doing that." Eli said pulling her out of her thoughts o f nervousness.

"What?" she questioned looking over at him from staring out the window at the full student parking lot as Eli drove around it trying to find a spot.

"Biting your lip." He said. "It'll bleed if you keep doing that."

Clare didn't even notice she's been biting her lip until he pointed it out. Most of the time she doesn't realize she's doing it. "Sorry." She touched her lip. "It's habit."

Eli chuckled pulling into a spot. "I was just going to say to let me do that."

Clare shook her head at him. "I need to find my locker." She undid her seat belt and went to grab her bag from the spot where her feet were resting during the ride to school.

"Alright." Eli nodded his head and took the keys out and shoved them in his pants pocket. Clare opened the door then got out and shut the door after. She put her shoulder bag on her shoulder as she looked around at her surroundings.

"Ready?" Asked Eli walking over from his side to hers with his backpack slung over one shoulder.

"No." she took his hand in hers and interlocked their fingers.

"It's just first day jitters, you'll be fine tomorrow." He made clear to her, now only if she believed it herself. Clare nodded though. Then the two started toward the school. Clare couldn't help but feel like all eyes near them were on her, she hated all the attention. Being the center of attention was never and will always be not her cup of tea.

Almost as if Eli could read minds he said. "Don't let it bother you." He squeezed her hand lightly. "You're just new, soon the next kid will come along."

Clare looked up at him. "Yeah? And doesn't have anything to do with holding hands with Mr. Well-known at all?"

"Maybe…" he said dragging out the word for a few seconds. He opened the door and Clare walked a head of him and inside the school she went. Degrassi wasn't as big as her old school. Her old school was three floors tall and there were at least 15 portables, two football fields along with a track in the back. Degrassi was nowhere near that size but it was still big and there was a lot to get use to. At her old school if there was a new student no one noticed unless you were a grade nine then you were noticed because they always took so long walking in the halls. Over 1500 students there only close to 700 at Degrassi which meant she stuck out like boy in a girls washroom.

This school was bright, with yellows and blues. It wasn't navy and maroon like what she was use to. It looked nicely decorated too for being a public school, but it's not like she much to compare it to since she's only been to a preppy catholic school her whole high school career until now. She hated that school, all the people there sucked, the uniform was added hate and what added three times the hate was the people she thought were her friends all ditched her when she got quiet after her mother and sister died.

"Who's this, Eli?"

"Damn it." Eli said under his breath. Clare looked over at her person who the voice belonged to. She was blonde and only slightly taller than she with the heels the blonde girl wore. There was three of them one of which was Becky.

"I already told you who that –"

"Shut up, Becky." The girl with no name to her face yet said looking over at Becky. The dark hair, dark-skinned girl just stayed quiet looking at Clare. "Eli?" the girl questioned again.

Eli sighed slightly and held Clare's hand tighter. "Clare. This is Clare. My girlfriend." He told the girls standing in front of them. Clare was confused when she saw her face drop. Clare looked up at Eli but he wasn't looking back. Then a smile grew on the blondes face.

"You guys are cute together." She said happily. "How long have you known each other?" she questioned

"What is this? 21 questions?" Eli snapped.

"Eli, Come on, Don't be rude." Clare told him quickly rubbing his upper arm that she was holding on to with her other hand as she stood slightly in front of her the second these three girls came over. "We've know each other since we were babies." Clare answered the girl.

"Super cute!" the girl smiled brightly. "Oh! Well, there's my Boo. I'll see you around." She said before they all walked off again. Clare looked over she shoulder at the small group that formed on the other side of the hallway. Guys and the name less girls were together and she wasn't so sure she wanted to know them.

"Who were they." Clare asked as Eli and her began to walk down a different hallway than they were in.

"Jenna, Alli and Becky..." He answered. " Becky isn't so bad, but it's the other two you don't want to be around, they're horrible." He explained to her without any sort of expression on his face.

"Eli, Did they do something to you?" She asks him.

"No, not to me…" he shook his head.

"Then why –"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter." He said quickly cutting her off before she could finish. "Here's your locker." He said opening the locker with the number 139 on it, her locker. "First period is down that hallway." He pointed.

"Eli…" Clare started.

"I'll see you in class." He pecked her lips quick before walking off, leaving her by herself in the slowly growing busy hallway. Standing there confused Clare let out a breath and turned to the locker and started putting her things inside of it.

"Don't mind him. He'll be fine by the next time you see him." Clare looked over and standing at an open locker a few away from her own stood a girl with long dark hair in skinny jeans and a leather jacket to match.

"Sorry?"

"He does that all the time. The fine one minute, not the next, then fine again." The dark-haired girl told her. "And… it's not nothing, it matters a whole lot to him about what happened with those girls."

"What…what happened exactly?" Clare asks.

"It's not my place to tell, but he'll tell you when he's good and ready."

Clare nodded and went back to placing things in her locker space. She took the magnet mirror and put on the locker door.

"It's Bianca by the way." Clare looked back over to her "I'm one of Eli's friends." Bianca closed her locker and came over to Clare. "And I assume you're the Clare he won't shut up about?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm Clare." Clare replies. "Should I be concerned about how much be talks about me?" Clare laughs.

"He only talks about you cause he loves you.' Bianca said her tone teasing.

Clare looks down at her feet "He can't love me…" She grabbed her binder.

"I'm sure that's not true." She said. Clare had thought she had sad that quiet enough for the girl she just met not to hear her but obviously not. Clare shut her locker door and bit down on her lip, the bell rang then.

"Well! I'll see you at lunch then? You'll be sitting with us all right?" Bianca questioned "I mean unless you and Eli plan to make out behind the school instead."

Clare let out a laugh and shook her head. "No, that won't be happening… I'll see you at lunch."

"Okay, see ya later chicka." Bianca then walked off in the opposite direction Clare was going to go in.

Clare looked at the busy hallways, with lots of moving bodies of teachers and students. She wanted Eli's hand, the busy, loud, fast-moving people were bothering her and all she wanted was to near Eli to have him by her side, to guide her. He was the only thing she found comfort in ever since she started opening up and letting people in to her world. She couldn't tell if that was a bad thing though, wanting him near. Class, That's where he would be. She hurried then down the hallway Eli pointed to earlier.

Clare found the class after looking at her timetable more than three times to make sure she had it right. She walked in, there were only a few other students in the room and for a second she wondered if she'd gotten the right room when she didn't see Eli inside of it even after she's check the paper in her hands multiple times already. She went to grab the paper from her binder when a hand found its way to her waist.

"I'm here." Eli's voice said calming her insanely. A small sigh of relive fell from her lips when she looked up at him.

"Hi." She greeted quietly. "I uh.. I met your friend Bianca."

"Yeah?"

"Mhmm…you never mentioned her before.." Clare said taking a seat in one of the desks in the back of the classroom, He took the one behind her own and Clare turned in the chair to face him.

"Because if she knew I said something, even if it's just making known she exists, she'd probably whoop my ass." He chuckled setting his things for first period on the desk.

"She seems like she would." Clare agreed with what he told her just as the bell rang, and the last few students came piling in. In came Adam seconds later, Clare saw him walk in but Eli hadn't. So when Adam came near he slapped the back of Eli's head. This caused Eli to jump slightly, he rubbed the back of his head and glared at Adam as Adam took the empty spot beside Eli's desk. Adam just laughed and a smile grew on Clare's face trying not to laugh herself.

"What? That's what you get for flipping me off yesterday."

"Well you were interrupting me." Eli said wiggling his eyebrows at Clare. Colour rushed to Clare's face, she turned in her chair so Eli wouldn't be able to see the blush on her face because of him.

"Good Morning! Class!" the cheery voice of the teacher says walking in the room shutting the door behind her.

Lunch soon came around after two more periods of sitting around listening to the teacher talk and talk for a whole 75 minutes before shutting up about the class room rules and what they're going to be doing in the course during the semester. Second wasn't so bad since Bianca ended up being in her math class and the two sat together and talked quietly as the teacher went on and gave them some practice questions to do. Third wasn't fun at all, it was another Class of nothing and she was glad to get out of there.

Clare closed her locker from grabbing her small paper bag lunch she had pack with her this morning as Eli slept for a few more minutes. All she wanted was to get out of the halls once again, the cluttered halls of bodies.

"Hey! Bianca called. "You coming?"

Clare nodded. "Yeah… yeah I am." Smiling a bit

"Wait!" A voice shouted from behind the two girls after they had started walking from their lockers. "Wait for moi!" Clare looked over her shoulder to see a girl with her hair up with chopsticks in her brown hair and combat boots on her running feet. The two stopped and the girl jumped on Bianca's back, Bianca held the back of the girls' leg so she wouldn't fall.

"To lunch we go!" The girl laughed and pointed to way where the café was. "Who's this?" she asked looking over at Clare.

"I'm Clare." She said giving the girl a smiling feeling no need to hide with her for some weird reason, maybe it was because the girl didn't seem to be hiding herself at all.

"Imogen Moreno, Pleased to meet you." She said. "Oh! I love that bow." She commented over the poke-a-dot bow Clare had in her hair to make her outfit. As she got down from Bianca's back.

"Oh, Thanks." Clare smiled touching the bow for a second.

"Come on, you accessory junkies, I got nine's I got to scare away from our table." All girls laughed

"That's only if Eli, Adam, Jakers and Mo haven't already." Imogen threw in there as they walked into the café.

* * *

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

September 3rd

16 months

498 days

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End of chapter seven

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Whatcha think?

Review!

_**Please review and tell me if you want ending one or two.**_

_**The last words for ending one are "I know"**_

_**The last words for ending two are "I'll see you when it's your turn, Eli Goldsworthy."**_

_**Choose wisely, Readers!**_

I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me

XoXo


	8. Chapter 8

Authors note: I don't know filler chapter ? I can promise you this story is going to take a turn really quickly. (as in like And you're not going to know what hit you. This chapter is short honestly but it's all I could pull off on a Monday night…Um So. No one reads this part anyway so R&R enjoy! No beta so of course there will be mistakes I missed.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi because if I did, season 13 wouldn't be shit like it is. And I'm keeping it like this until it's not shit anymore because no time to be creative here.

Summary: A clock ticks, it never stops. Time never ends. Which means things are bound to happen, and it's not lollipops and sun shine all the time. There are storms but after every storm there's a rainbow. But what will it take Clare to realize that.

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A Year And A Half

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Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

-Winston Churchill

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Chapter Eight.

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Time went by, hot turned to cold, shorts and dresses turned into jeans and jackets, going outside to enjoy the sun was not a thing to do any longer. It was time for blankets, romance comedies, and cuddling and warm fussy socks with lots of different designs on them. This was always Clare's favourite time of year, not because she had someone she was able to do all those things with because she didn't but now she did. Doing those little things with Eli brightened her day even more every time. Sometimes it was just them two, watching movies, kissing enjoying being in each others arms but other time's the gang tagged along and they all watched movies together.

Most of the time when it was everyone over they watched horror but Clare didn't mind too much, she's grown use to it by now because of Eli and his obsession with the genre. Most of the time the bags of popcorn they popped Adam ate in a half-hour time range every time and it amazed her . That boy must have two hallow legs or something because she doesn't know where he puts it all. Most of the time Imogen can mouth every single line in a movie like she's seen them all a hundred times, which honestly wouldn't surprise Clare whatsoever.

At first Clare wasn't so sure becoming friends with them all was such a good idea but they all grew on her. And she didn't want to remember the time she thought that not being friends with them was a bad idea. Eli was right she would like them. No matter how much Mo's teasing annoyed her or Jake always reaching things out of the top of her locker because she couldn't reach the things she had in the back of the top shelf or Bianca always trying to get her to show more of Clare's cleavage, she liked these people and they made her feel safe.

"I can't believe I sat through that all!" Bianca said finally as the end credits started to play. "And just so you know this ground isn't all that comfortable, love birds." Bianca groaned as she stretched glancing at Eli and Clare who had the comfort of the couch as they watch Avatar. Eli chuckled and rolled his eyes playfully.

"But that movie was so worth sitting on the ground. Don't you think?" Imogen commented happily getting the movie out of the player. Before setting the dvd case on the table and sitting on her knees.

"Nah." Mo said mocking her happy tone of voice.

Imogen pouted crossing her arms over her chest. "But it was crazy awesome! With the guns and the pow, pow" She said making her fingers into the shape of a gun and fake shooting at Adam, which he pretended to he hurt by. Clare giggled. "Oh, and the avatars! You can't tell me those weren't cool! They were blue for Pete's sake! "

"Imogen? How much doctor pepper did you drink?" Jake asked.

Imogen looked down at the pile of empty can from beside where her spot was while they were watching the movie. "Two?" Jake raised an eye brow "Okay, maybe four.. But some of those are Adam's!" she accused.

"I think you need to lay of the pop, that stuff makes you hyper." Jake said

"Never!" She gasped grabbing her half-empty one and running out of the room.

"Imogen, he was kidding, come back!" Bianca laughs

"Are you sure?" She asks poking her head in the room.

"Yes."

"No..." Jake mumbled.

"I knew it!" Imogen laughed. "I should go though, leaving homework for a Sunday is never a good idea., chow" she said pulling her coat on and blowing a kiss the way of them all who were still in the room.

"Ims, I need a ride!" Bianca shouted before the girl in pigtails walked out the door.

"Me too!" Jake said

"Me three." Mo said moving from sitting on the ground to standing up.

"Am I allow to say me four or?" Adam finally said.

"Hurry your booties up then!" Imogen then walked out the door the rest of them following her. The second the door shut from the last person walking out Clare burst out laughing. Eli couldn't help but laugh too.

"Does pop always do that to her?" Clare questioned after recovering from her laughing fit.

"Most of the time." He started. "I hate to see what alcohol does to that girl."

Clare nods "Me too." And cuddles into his side and he kisses her forehead earning him a small smile from Clare.

* * *

The scars are still all over her body, reminding her of when life was horrible to her. But it was her decision, it was because of her why those burn marks and scars on her wrists are there. She hasn't felt the need to cut herself in such a long time now, life was being good to her. Clare didn't have her dad causing her pain any more and Clare rarely thought about it, or the scars, or the burn marks. But whenever she changed her clothing she'd see the scars all over her stomach, arms, and thighs. And as she looked at herself in the mirror as she changed to go to sleep all she could think about was that day, that horrible day when her father had beat her so badly she ended up in the hospital. And his cruel words towards her going through her mind once again.

You're fucking useless

You whore

You should have died in that accide-

"Clare?" Eli questioned. She didn't even notice the door open or him walk in. She pulled her shirt down quickly and ignored his questioning of her name.

"Clare, what…"

"Nothing, Eli, it's nothing." She said quickly walking past him out of her room.

"Nothing?" Clare heard him let out a laugh. "It's not nothing, Clare! You can't say it's nothing when it's fucking something."

Clare shook her head not saying anything, she doesn't want to talk about it. But of course Eli being Eli isn't going to stop bothering her until he got answers. Clare walked down the stairs. She wanted to be alone, she didn't want to be bothered. Not a single cut on her body is new, each one is old and turning into a scar and if not turning they already are.

"Clare!"

"Leave me alone, Eli." Clare said opening the cupboard and grabbing a glass cup down.

"Clare…" Eli tried again. Clare just opened the door of the fridge and started to fill the glass cup up.

"Clare, come one, talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about." She said not looking at him. When she tried to walk by him Eli wouldn't let her pass. He put his arms on the counter and on the island preventing her from getting past him. "Eli, let me by." She demanded.

"Not until you talk to me."

Clare rolled her eyes at him and tried to push past him, it didn't work though. He grabbed her wrist and she dropped the glass by accident. She yanked her wrist from his hold. It was stupid to get so upset about spilled water but she did. She looked at the broken glass and water at their feet and all she could do is think about her life, no matter how much people told her and she told herself that it was going to get better. She knew it wasn't. It may seem like it's okay from the outside because she's tough but on the inside everything was still broken. Just like the cup.

"Clare, don't... Don't cry, look I'm sorry, I'll clean it up."

She shook her head. "No, I made the mess, I have to clean it up." She wiped her eyes before leaning down and started picking up the broken glass on the floor of the kitchen. Eli leaned down too and helped her pick up the glass. Clare stopped and looked at him. Eli noticed her staring and couldn't help but glance up at her Clare through his bangs before going back to picking up the glass. Which wasn't a good idea to start with, but the two still picked it up with their hands.

"What?" he mumbled.

"I haven't cut myself since July…" She told him slowly after a few minutes. "I hate seeing them, they're just consent reminders of why I started cutting in the first place." Eli stopped then and looked at her, She bit her bottom lip and stood up to throw the glass out.

"Coming here helped... the new surroundings, the new people, you three… But the thoughts are still here, telling me I'm worthless or telling me I don't deserve to live… I don't think they'll ever go away... Unless I get my brain replaced or something…" She confessed. "I'm not okay, but I'll get better eventually." She finished her back turned to Eli the time she talked. So when she turned around she didn't notice how close he had gotten to her.

Eli reached behind her to throw out the glass before looking at her. "Clare… I'm always here to talk to, you know that, right? " He questioned.

She nods. "I know… Just talking about any off what… Randall did t-to me is hard."

"I'm not going to stand here and tell you I know how you feel, because I don't. But I'm here for you. Forever and always, okay." He looked her in her eyes.

"Forever and always." She repeated before pecking his lips chastely.

* * *

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

November 3rd

14 months

437 days

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End of chapter Eight

* * *

Whatcha think?

Review!

Ending one was most voted for that is the ending this story is going to have.

I-Want-You-Not-2-Give-Up-On-Me

XoXo


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